Painful Truth: Who has time for legal pot?

Later this year or sometime in 2017, marijuana is likely to become legal in Canada. It was one of the Liberals’ promises during the election, and if they don’t keep it Ottawa will no doubt find a horde of cranky stoners standing in front of Parliament, under a cloud of fury (and also a cloud of pot smoke).

I’ve never smoked pot or munched on a pot brownie, which makes me a little unusual among people who grew up in the Lower Mainland in the last few decades.

I don’t know why I’ve never tried pot. Maybe it was the highly effective anti-drug talk I was given when I was young. (Getting a recovering crack addict to talk in blunt terms about almost dying is effective on most eight-year-olds.) Maybe it was because I and my friends were boring nerds – our drug of choice was caffeine and role playing game sessions.

Part of it was that I distrust any product produced by associates of the Hells Angels in mildew-infested rental housing. I mean, it’s not as if illegal pot is regularly inspected to ensure it’s free of pesticides, herbicides, fungi, spider eggs, and other random adulterants. You can’t call the Ministry of Agriculture to complain if you think that “organic” pot you got from your friend’s friend is actually coated with Roundup.

But now, legal pot is on the horizon. And soon you will be able to get organic pot, and government-inspected pot, and pot with relatively well known dosages in measured quantities, bought from a store and not some guy who smells like the carpeting in the back of a ’78 Chevy van.

So I wondered… should I try some?

I could buy a pot brownie at the Liquor Store or wherever it ends up being sold, and then…

And here my idea started running into the rocks of reality.

I wouldn’t want to take any on a work night, of course. I get up early, and I’m fuzzy enough in the mornings when I’m crammed full of caffeine. I don’t know how I’d react to pot, so I’d rather not try to slog through a day of work if I was still even slightly fuzzy.

So that would leave the weekends. Saturday or Sunday.

But the days are getting longer and brighter, and I was hoping to get out on my bike more often. Vegging out on the couch for half the day isn’t exactly compatible with a fifty kilometre ride.

And I wouldn’t want any pot after I got back from a ride… I’ve got bathrooms to clean, and floors to mop. And then there are groceries to buy, errands to run – I need to be able to drive for most of my weekend!

Vacation? Well, I was hoping to actually get away to the Island the next time I’m off. More driving, there.

Honestly, I’m in awe of your average pot user.

I just don’t know when they find the time for their hobby. I’m not going to have enough until I retire.


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