Odd Thoughts: Weather or not, something’s wrong

Langley Advance columnist Bob Groeneveld ponders the great outdoors.

I’m sitting here marvelling at the weather.

It’s especially the temperature that’s amazing me.

When I was a kid, we would get our veggies ready for the fall fair in early September.

Where I grew up on Vancouver Island, closer to the ocean, the climate tends to be just a tad milder than here in the Fraser Valley. The fall fair was held every year on the weekend after Labour Day.

Nearly every year it was a struggle to get the show veggies picked and set aside before frost, so they wouldn’t be damaged by the cold, which would make them unsuitable for the 4-H show table.

Here it is, October, and we have not yet had so much as a hint of frost.

And for the past decade or more, that’s been normal.

I know that Donald Trump maintains global warming is really just a hoax perpetrated by China, but…

“Wrong.”

What the…?

“Wrong.”

Donald Trump?!?!!

“I didn’t say that.”

Actually, you did…

“Wrong.”

While I admit that that is a persuasive argument, what are you doing here in my computer? And how the heck did you know what I’m writing?

“The people at the NSA are unbelievable. They know I’m going to make America great again. The NSA endorsed me just earlier today.”

Ummm… the NSA can’t actually endorse anybody. That would be illegal.

“Wrong. I’m going to make America great again, and it’s all about two words: law and order.”

Ummm, that’s three words…

“The NSA is right with me in making America great again, by helping to keep Americans like you and me safe.”

But I’m not American…

“Wrong.”

I’m Canadian and I…

“Wrong.”

I was born in Canada and I live in Canada and…

“And I’m going to make all the states like yours great again… I have property in Canada and it’s a great state and the people are unbelievable.”

But we’re not American.

“Well, I’m going to built a wall and it will be unbelievable. It will be an amazing wall. It will be a great wall. The greatest wall ever.”

Between Canada and the United States?

“Barack Obama should have never let Canada leave America. He got bad advice from Secretary Clinton. Now we have to build a wall.”

But what about the weather? The temperatures outside? What about global warming?

“Wrong.”

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