Odd Thoughts: Santa certainty supercedes science

The alternative facts about Virginia and Santa Claus.

The boy looked distraught.

“Why so gloomy? It’s nearly Christmas,” his father tried to sound concerned.

“Joey said there’s no such as Santa Claus, and I said, ‘Sure is,’ and he said, ‘Is not,’ and then I got in trouble for punching him.”

“That’s not very nice, Son,” said Dad chidingly.

“I know,” said the boy. “He shouldn’t have said that.”

“I mean it’s not nice to punch someone at Christmas time.”

“Oh, yeah,” the boy realized he should be contrite. “I guess I should have waited till after Christmas, right?”

“That’s not really…” his father started to say, but then he changed his mind.

Instead, he told his son the story about how a newspaper editor once famously responded to a question from a girl named Virginia.

“Virginia’s friends told her there was no Santa Claus,” said the boy’s father, “so her mother suggested that she write a letter to the editor – a very wise man, she said – to ask him, because he would certainly know. And he wrote an editorial especially for Virginia.”

“And what did the wise, old editor write?” the boy asked expectantly.

“He wrote that Santa exists ‘just as certainly as love and generosity and devotion exist,’” the man reassured his son. “He wrote that there will always be a Santa Claus, as long as there are children he can make happy. He wrote that Santa will be around for at least a hundred thousand years.”

“No kidding?” the boy said in words the colour of wonder.

“No kidding,” said his dad. “And then, to be perfectly clear and to leave no doubt at all, he wrote right on the editorial page of the newspaper, ‘Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus.’”

“He wrote that in the newspaper?” the boy was wide-eyed in amazement.

“Yes, he did,” said the dad.

“Then…” the boy hesitated before continuing: “Fake news, right?”

“That’s right,” said the dad. “But luckily, there’s more.”

“More,” the crestfallen boy stretched the word out like Mr. Bumble did in Oliver Twist.

“It turns out,” said his father, “that scientists have proven beyond any reasonable doubt at all that Santa Claus can’t possibly exist.”

“Oh, boy!” the young man beamed. “Then he IS real! There really IS a Santa Claus!”

Just Posted

Langley realtor uses Monopoly tournament to add to refugee group’s community chest

A fundraising tournament could be the start of an annual tradition.

Hankering for a piece of Star Wars?

A massive Star Wars memorabilia collection is going on the auction block in Langley.

Supreme Court of Canada rules in human-rights case involving Langley firm

The case involved two people working for separate contractors on a Delta road project.

Langley Rotarians work for clinics in Kenya

Local Rotary Clubs are asking locals to think of others at Christmastime.

#MeToo at work: How reporting sexual harassment works – and how it doesn’t

British Columbians have four options to report harassment or assault, but none of them are easy

VIDEO: Recovering addict shares art and story to motivate others

A Langley City man spends time each day painting in McBurney Plaza.

Firefighter dies, thousands more take on California blaze

This is second death linked to the Thomas fire, northwest of Los Angeles

Moose calves rescued in northern B.C. are ‘golden nuggets:’ researcher

Calves discovered near Prince George in late May. Mother had been killed by a car

Missing Alberta man could be headed to Victoria

Police in Alberta say Vernon “Allan” Pickard has not been heard from since late November

Cineplex charges extra at some Star Wars screenings

Fans are getting a surprise twist at the box office with extra $1 charges for assigned seating

Toddler sent to hospital following dog bite at Vancouver Island daycare

Malamute/husky cross involved in incident at 1200-block of Burnside Rd. West

‘Rx (Medicate)’ the biggest song of Theory of a Deadman’s 16-year career, North Delta bassist raves

Rock quartet left its ‘comfort zone’ for new Wake Up Call album, recorded in London

Provincial Contractor of the Year awards handed out across B.C.

Deputy Minister’s 2017 awards recognize excellence in transportation and infrastructure

Myers high on Canada

AT RANDOM: Mike Myers says it right, eh

Most Read