Odd Thoughts: No help for Siri-us situation

I can’t quite decide whether Siri is truly an unintelligent machine, or really a Machiavellian wizard.

I call her “she,” of course, simply because my iPhone’s simulacrum of a human voice has feminine characteristics.

“It” would probably be more appropriate… but as of late, I don’t think it would be wise to upset her.

I keep a running shopping list in my phone. It’s very handy, but I thought I could save a few keystrokes every time I use it by getting Siri to fetch it for me.

I have occasionally dictated column ideas, and even whole columns, to her in the past, and I figured I could expand her usefulness this way.

It should be simple, I thought.


I started, as I usually do when I speak to Siri, quite courteously: Siri, please find my shopping list.

Siri: You don’t have any reminders on your shopping list.

I knew that wasn’t right, so perhaps she just misunderstood me: Please find my shopping file.

Siri: (Lists apps and websites devoted to shopping.)

Me: (Still polite) Siri, please find my shopping file in Notes.

Siri: I have found all of your notes (Lists nearly all of my notes, curiously excluding my shopping list).

Me: (Teeth gritted, but still under control, since surely, Siri would not recognize my list as a file that I have it in its own folder titled “1shopping”.) Siri, please find my one-shopping folder in my Notes app.

Siri: I found all of your notes (but still no shopping list).

Me: (Perhaps a demand, rather than a request will work better) Siri, find my “one-shopping” folder in Notes.

Siri: Sorry, there aren’t any notes matching “shopping folder in”.

Donna (helpfully): Maybe Siri will recognize “number one shopping” folder.

Me: Siri, find my number one shopping folder in my Notes app.

Siri: I found all of your notes. (No! She didn’t!)

Me: Find the folder in my Notes app labelled numeral one shopping.

Siri: I didn’t find any notes matching “app labelled numeral one shopping.”

Me: (No more Mr. Nice Guy) Siri, are you good for anything?

Siri: No comment, Bob.

Me: Am I frustrating you as much as you are frustrating me?

Siri: Take a deep breath… Another.


She should have just told me to save my breath.



Just Posted

Outdoor terrace opens at City Hall

The outdoor terrace renovation is the final component of the Timms Community Centre renewal.

A GoFundMe for the goats

Matthew Farden surpassed his fundraising goal for Aldergrove’s Happy Herd Farm rescue animals.

Langley Township’s Froese named vice-chair of Mayors’ Council

The Township mayor will be one of the top officials overseeing TransLink.

Holiday market for a mission

The Aldergrove HANDS mission team is hosting a holiday market to raise money for Belize.

LETTER: Canada should not be selling weapons abroad

A Langley man is critical of Canada for selling arms that are being used to kill civilians.

Winter weather hits parts of Canada

As some parts of the country brace for cold, parts of B.C. remain warmer than 10 C

Canada’s health system commendable overall but barriers to care remain: UN

The United Nations says Canada’s health care system is “commendable” overall but vulnerable groups still face barriers to quality care.

Unique technology gives children with special needs more independent play

UVic’s CanAssist refined seven prototypes aided by $1.5M government contribution

Kelly Ellard’s boyfriend has statutory release revoked

Darwin Duane Dorozan had several parole infractions that found him ‘unmanageable’

New chair of Metro Vancouver board is Burnaby councillor

The 40-person board is made up of elected officials from 21 cities and one First Nation

Doctor’s note shouldn’t be required to prove you’re sick: poll

70% of Canadians oppose allowing employers to make you get a sick note

German-born B.C. man warns against a ‘yes’ vote on proportional representation

Agassiz realtor Freddy Marks says PR in his home country shows party elites can never be voted out

Fashion Fridays: 5 coats you need this winter!

Kim XO, lets you know the best online shopping tips during Fashion Fridays on the Black Press Media Network

Saskatchewan college honours memory of Humboldt Broncos coach

Darcy Haugan wore jersey No. 22 when he was a star player with the Briercrest College Clippers

Most Read