Odd Thoughts: No help for Siri-us situation

I can’t quite decide whether Siri is truly an unintelligent machine, or really a Machiavellian wizard.

I call her “she,” of course, simply because my iPhone’s simulacrum of a human voice has feminine characteristics.

“It” would probably be more appropriate… but as of late, I don’t think it would be wise to upset her.

I keep a running shopping list in my phone. It’s very handy, but I thought I could save a few keystrokes every time I use it by getting Siri to fetch it for me.

I have occasionally dictated column ideas, and even whole columns, to her in the past, and I figured I could expand her usefulness this way.

It should be simple, I thought.

Hmmm…

I started, as I usually do when I speak to Siri, quite courteously: Siri, please find my shopping list.

Siri: You don’t have any reminders on your shopping list.

I knew that wasn’t right, so perhaps she just misunderstood me: Please find my shopping file.

Siri: (Lists apps and websites devoted to shopping.)

Me: (Still polite) Siri, please find my shopping file in Notes.

Siri: I have found all of your notes (Lists nearly all of my notes, curiously excluding my shopping list).

Me: (Teeth gritted, but still under control, since surely, Siri would not recognize my list as a file that I have it in its own folder titled “1shopping”.) Siri, please find my one-shopping folder in my Notes app.

Siri: I found all of your notes (but still no shopping list).

Me: (Perhaps a demand, rather than a request will work better) Siri, find my “one-shopping” folder in Notes.

Siri: Sorry, there aren’t any notes matching “shopping folder in”.

Donna (helpfully): Maybe Siri will recognize “number one shopping” folder.

Me: Siri, find my number one shopping folder in my Notes app.

Siri: I found all of your notes. (No! She didn’t!)

Me: Find the folder in my Notes app labelled numeral one shopping.

Siri: I didn’t find any notes matching “app labelled numeral one shopping.”

Me: (No more Mr. Nice Guy) Siri, are you good for anything?

Siri: No comment, Bob.

Me: Am I frustrating you as much as you are frustrating me?

Siri: Take a deep breath… Another.

 

She should have just told me to save my breath.

 

 

Just Posted

UPDATE: Police raid Langley home in search for murder suspect Teixeira

Several law enforcement agencies were at a Willoughby home, hunting for a man charged with murder.

Mounties need help finding Langley woman

Familiy haven’t spoken to Megan Terpsma much since June 2017, and concerned for her well-being.

Throwback Thursday: Does anyone remember what this tumbedown building was originally?

Can you help us identify this decrepit building, or provide it with an appropriate caption?

Odd Thoughts: Langley councillors get the easy chair

Getting onto a municipal council is a numbers game. You don’t have to be everyone’s top pick.

Not too bad for a Langley boy who didn’t really like volleyball

Daniel Jansen VanDoorn is playing with the Canada Team in men’s volleyball world championships.

Massive fire destroys Agassiz dairy barn

Reports say at least one cow died in the blaze

Despite protests, Russia’s anti-doping agency reinstated

On a 9-2 vote, the executive committee declared RUSADA as having satisfied conditions

Burnaby pedestrian in hospital after being hit crossing busy street

Driver remained on scene, is speaking to RCMP

5 to start your day

Massive barn fire in Agassiz, messages of hope line Vancouver-area bridge and more

The longest week: Carolinas worn out by Florence

Frustration and sheer exhaustion are building as thousands of people wait to go home seven days after the storm began battering the coast.

Vancouver councillors move ahead with policy for duplexes on detached home lots

Mayor Gregor Robertson says the decision is another step toward adding homes in the city for the so-called “missing middle.”

Canada’s goal is to play in a medal game at World Cup in Spain

The 2014 women’s world basketball championships were a coming out party for Canada.

Most Read