Odd Thoughts: No help for Siri-us situation

I can’t quite decide whether Siri is truly an unintelligent machine, or really a Machiavellian wizard.

I call her “she,” of course, simply because my iPhone’s simulacrum of a human voice has feminine characteristics.

“It” would probably be more appropriate… but as of late, I don’t think it would be wise to upset her.

I keep a running shopping list in my phone. It’s very handy, but I thought I could save a few keystrokes every time I use it by getting Siri to fetch it for me.

I have occasionally dictated column ideas, and even whole columns, to her in the past, and I figured I could expand her usefulness this way.

It should be simple, I thought.


I started, as I usually do when I speak to Siri, quite courteously: Siri, please find my shopping list.

Siri: You don’t have any reminders on your shopping list.

I knew that wasn’t right, so perhaps she just misunderstood me: Please find my shopping file.

Siri: (Lists apps and websites devoted to shopping.)

Me: (Still polite) Siri, please find my shopping file in Notes.

Siri: I have found all of your notes (Lists nearly all of my notes, curiously excluding my shopping list).

Me: (Teeth gritted, but still under control, since surely, Siri would not recognize my list as a file that I have it in its own folder titled “1shopping”.) Siri, please find my one-shopping folder in my Notes app.

Siri: I found all of your notes (but still no shopping list).

Me: (Perhaps a demand, rather than a request will work better) Siri, find my “one-shopping” folder in Notes.

Siri: Sorry, there aren’t any notes matching “shopping folder in”.

Donna (helpfully): Maybe Siri will recognize “number one shopping” folder.

Me: Siri, find my number one shopping folder in my Notes app.

Siri: I found all of your notes. (No! She didn’t!)

Me: Find the folder in my Notes app labelled numeral one shopping.

Siri: I didn’t find any notes matching “app labelled numeral one shopping.”

Me: (No more Mr. Nice Guy) Siri, are you good for anything?

Siri: No comment, Bob.

Me: Am I frustrating you as much as you are frustrating me?

Siri: Take a deep breath… Another.


She should have just told me to save my breath.



Just Posted

ZONE 3: Luck played no part in getting Riley Ward to the BC Summer Games

Langley baller flouts misfortune on the floor; he’d rather get by on hard work

Third straight loss ends Langley’s Junior B Thunder season

The local squad could not snare a win against the Port Coquitlam Saints.

Giants bringing Point Roberts talent to Langley

The Vancouver Giants have announced a new signing.

VIDEO: New doctors, but fewer spaces for patients in Langley

Retirements have left some Langley residents without a family physician.

Throwback Thursday: July 19, 2018

Can you help us caption a photo from Langley’s past?

Here’s what you need to know about Day 2 at the BC Games

From equestrian to volleyball to swimming, all 18 events in full swing here in the Cowichan Valley

B.C. mining company, involved in 2014 spill, ordered to pay lost wages

Mount Polley Mining Company must pay wages to 26 employees who were laid off without proper notice

Two significant wildfires burning in southeastern B.C.

More than 20 fires were burning in the Southeast Fire Centre as of Saturday afternoon

Volunteers provide the glue that keeps BC Games moving

The 2018 Cowichan Summer Games had more than 2,300 volunteers on hand across Vancouver Island

No Name brand chicken nuggets recalled due to possible salmonella

Canadian Food Inspection Agency says multiple illnesses reported in B.C., Alberta and Ontario

Lodeiro scores twice to help Sounders beat Whitecaps 2-0

Seattle’s Nicolas Lodeiro opened the scoring in the fifth minute when he converted a penalty kick

Fraser Surrey Docks mechanic dies on the job

‘This is a very sad day - a worker went to his job this morning and didn’t go home’

Race walker breaks 18-year-old BC Games record

Zone 6 athlete Olivia Lundman crossed finish line with ease, to loud cheers in Cowichan


A brief look at action from the 2018 BC Summer Games in the Cowichan Valley

Most Read