A bi-weekly round-up of automotive news, good, bad and just plain weird:

Mystery of Ireland's worst driver finally solved

Irish police have lately been hot on the heels of one Prawo Jazdy, notorious scofflaw and dastardly driver, and they've finally caught their man. Well, sort of.

With over 50 different sorts of driving infractions over the past few years, the elusive Jazdy had evaded capture by evidently providing officers with multiple addresses. Evaded capture, that is, until a suspicious office worker popped his name into the Google search engine.

Surprise! "Prawo Jazdy" is actually Polish for "driver's licence." Careless coppers were writing down the words printed on the top of licence, rather than the offender's name on the following line. Official spokespersons declined comment, but the embarrassing slip was generally agreed to be the worst faux pas since Officer Darby O'Gill arrested all those "leprechauns."

BMW new navigation system knows where you're going

BMW has invented a clever new navigation system that can guess your next destination based on the time of day. Using an analysis of previous destinations and past driving patterns, and combining it with real time traffic accident and weather reports, the new navigation system can provide a list of suggested destinations and the optimal routes to get there.

Possible drawbacks include trying to explain to your wife why the X5 always wants to go to Number Five Orange.

Saturn brand to be discontinued

GM fired up the company Deathstar last week to vaporize planet Saturn in yet more credit-crunch cost-cutting. A division of General Motors that touted itself as being about "a different kind of company, a different kind of car," Saturn was always a bit of an ugly duckling in the automotive world.

Its economical and dent-resistant early models developed an instant fan following, but as Saturn turned to bland badge-engineering, the fan base dried up. Sad, because for a while Saturn showed that GM could do something different and positive.

World's longest fingernails broken in car crash

In a bizarre and painful story that cuts to the quick, Guinness world record holder for longest fingernails Lee Redmond is in need of a serious manicure after being involved in a severe car accident. The nails in question, which Redmond hadn't cut since 1979, combined for over 30 feet in length. They were broken off when she was ejected from her SUV in an accident near Salt Lake City, Utah. Luckily, Redmond is listed as being in stable condition with non-life-threatening injuries.

One can only hope that Lee will be able to press on.

Audi TT RS announced with 340 h.p.

Audi has apparently contracted Dr. Evil's cloning team for the design of their new TT coupe, producing a vehicle that's exactly the same as their supercar R8, except one-eighth the size. Well, not quite that small, but it's certainly less of a fashion accessory than the old TT with a lightweight aluminum body, race-tuned chassis, big brakes and an inline-5-cylinder engine that's turbocharged up to 340 horsepower.

There's plenty of external cues to the pocket-rocket's potent new form, including a new front fascia and large rear spoiler. The biggest difference, however, is that no one who's a hairdresser will be allowed to order one.

Austrian farmer caught using VW Golf to transport livestock

In a moo-ving story (sorry), an Austrian motorist recently snapped some pictures of a Volkswagen Golf with a beef-filling: two large calves crammed into the rear hatchback. When questioned, the farmer seemed confused as to what the problem was. In his view, the calves were much warmer than they would have been in a traditional transport trailer, and they even got to listen to the radio: favourite song? Something by Moo-chael Jackson (sorry).

Despite PETA's inevitable protests, I'd like to at least commend this farmer on his attempt to find a humane way to have a leather interior. Still, hopefully he's sirloined his lesson (sorry) and won't exceed the maximum recommended vealocity of his Golf again (sorry).

Watch this space for all the week's best and worst of automotive news, or submit your own auto oddities to brakingnews@gmail.com.