Christy Clark walked into my office this morning.
Unannounced. That's odd enough in itself. but she was smiling at me.
And she was holding hands with Adrian Dix. And they were both smiling.
And then John Cummins walked in. And they were all smiling.
It was a downright, positive, lovey-dovey smile fest.
Everybody was happy and agreeable. they even announced - veritably proclaimed! - their complete and total harmonious agreement with one another.
And they began singing Kumbaya and clapping hands and dancing a kind of tribal sort of dance of joy: bent over and clapping one moment, and then straight up, jazz hands flapping through the air above their heads the next - all in time with the syncopated rhythm of resounding drums from the newsroom.
Laughter rang through the halls, and the next thing you know, Stephen Harper was there - laughing and singing and dancing.
And then Alison Redford floated in - on point - wearing a tutu.
She hugged her "BFF" Christy, curtsied in Harper's direction, batted her eyelashes winningly at Dix and Cummins, and joined the dance.
And who do you think poked their heads around the corner, but Redford's pals spearheading Enbridge's Gateway Pipeline project and a handful of other Alberta oil-patch cohorts, who all linked arms with their B.C. Liquid Natural Gas buddies and joined the ever-widening dance circle.
They were fracking and drilling and cutting corporate taxes all over the place!
And then what to my wondering eyes did appear? Over in the corner, by the file cabinet, Barack Obama was. sipping. tea!
He was having a Tea Party!!! I gotta tell ya I love this time of year. Sleep deprivation provides me with hallucinations that would totally blow the minds of most veteran acid heads.
Who needs booze and drugs when you have Daylight Saving Time?
On the other hand, I find that that old adage aimed at reminding us which way to turn the clocks - "Spring forward, fall back" - is kind of bogus.
The "fall back" makes sense, but gimme a break: "spring" forward?
Anyone who can "spring" through the DST time change and into the ensuing Monday morning work routine has a lot more than lack of sleep (and maybe a few extra cups of coffee) invigorating their brain cells.
As a matter of fact, anyone with a so-called "spring" in their step this week has a propensity to annoy me deeply.
I'll take it further: I am especially easily annoyed by happiness and joy displayed too abundantly at this time of year.
I find that I am more easily irritated by people who foolishly assume that there is nothing wrong with them being happy and displaying their enthusiastic energy whenever they darned well please.
And I get particularly annoyed at people who seem to find it necessary to point out my irritability at the most unpropitious times - which is pretty much any time at all, of course (although most people who know me say they don't notice any difference between now and the rest of the year. probably because I hide it well, I guess).
Apparently, sleep deprivation can also cause mood swings along with the hallucinations.
Oh! Look! There's Jack Froese and Peter Fassbender signing amalgamation documents!