I hate when I'm forced to do math. It's not a girly thing.

It's because it's usually prompted by that niggling in the deep recesses of the recesses of the grey matter that something isn't adding up.

In this case, it's last summer's purchase of a cherry tree ($30 plus tax), container ($16 plus tax) and sundries (soil, polyurethane - $5).

So I'm at $41, wait, I'm a child of the modern age, let me do that on a calculator. Yes, $41 before tax, so $45 something.

So far the tree has produced about 21 cherries. About 10 turned red but never grew and dropped off. I've had the luxury of eating about eight. The birds have half eaten three. And there are about 10 more still ripening.

So my bounty could be up to 18 individual cherries.

$45 ÷ 18= cost per. That will make this $2.50, not per pound but per cherry.

Mother Nature, we need to chat. So whusup?

I held up my end of the bargain. Nice sunny spot, good soil, drainage, pretty planter box, weeding, watering.

You on the other hand- I was willing to overlook the little brown spots that showed up on some of the leaves and still haven't gotten the joke about that sap on part of the trunk.

Something burrowed in, did it?

Sure, you put on the lovely pink blossom display earlier this year, getting my hopes up, to be honest.

You even threw in some sun and warm on a few days, enough to bring out the pollinators.

But.

You have forced me to- put the problem in the hands of a power almost as mighty as you - Google. Type in 'growing'. Oooh. Plenty of detail on pot.

'Agricultural practices' - well there's entré into the wacky world of this wacky world.

In the past people would make offerings of the harvest to the gods to encourage a good crop/outcome in future endeavours.

Let's chalk up the bird snacking as my offering, and the strawberries some critter has chomped on, and the flowers missing parts of their petals thanks to one of your ilk, Ma.

Of course, people of the past felt any rite was important in a time when a crop failure meant 'look at the person to your left, look at the person to your right. One or two of you won't be here the next time we make offerings to the gods.'

Most people in industrialized countries have the luxury of a disconnect between eating, that habit most of us have gotten into on a daily basis, and where the stuff comes from. We don't keep track of agricultural and food production cycles and results, unless the coffee crop fails and that mocha grande mega non-fat soy caramel nutmeg Peruvian blend tub of coffee goes up eight cents.

The threat of hunger still exists in the everyday lives of people in developing nations, which is odd because I thought with all the music celebrities that have made charity recordings, the poor and hungry didn't exist anymore.

Okay so maybe I have to stop doing the math on my gardening and just enjoy the fruits and vegetables of my labours, putting this under the heading of hobby.

And maybe be grateful that I have my plot of land where I can grow misshapen strawberries, lopsided garlic, a few flowers and whatever I choose, and still have the ability to buy healthy food (even if the unhealthy stuff does win out more often than it should).

Okay, Mother Nature, I won't second guess you. But I'm still not ready to forgive on all the earthquake, tsunami, and landslide devastation stuff you keep throwing at humans.